Flags and colors
Now everybody knows I'm not an expert on patriotism and I don't claim to be. So I admit I just don't understand.
I was listening to a country station the other day (BIG mistake) - just for informative reasons, I don't like country music. So I get hit by a dozen songs about the "red white and blue".
Flashback. A few years ago Croatia was in post-war national fervor and all you could hear was the national anthem... and "our colors: red white and blue".
How ironic.
I can see people reminding me of my lack of patriotic conscience of whatever kind. But they don't have my experience either. What would you think? You live in one country and then years and thousands of miles later you think you are in another world and you're not. I know Americans and Croatians refer to two different flags but when it comes to raising the national emotional temperature those two countries did exactly the same thing. And each one of them thinks they will emphasize the best of what they have, their uniqueness by advocating just this one thing, that they are all to be identified by these colors.
Both countries had and have to overcome a violent invasion from a hateful enemy... who on his part, I am certain, waved his flag in pride - probably believing that this flag gave him a superiority and justification to go and destroy. A flag (not just the national-representing kind) emphasizes the collective and not the individual and so responsibility is shifted. It's easier to do things in the name of XYZ than out of one's own conviction.
Identity is not a flag. It can be a symbol of where you come from or where you grew up or where you chose to live but it is not you. You can wave it in gratitude I believe, but not in pride.
But now to a more important patriotic question: Does wearing a bikini with the Stars and Stripes on your butt fall under patriotic or idiotic ?
: )
Posted at 02:18 PM on July 25, 2002Site update
Again, my husband has exceeded all expectations and put up a really really cute photo section (see bottom of the side bar).
I hope you are all impressed. More albums will follow...
Maybe everybody should just pick my page as their homepage when they open their browser. I feel it would be very appropriate.
: )
Day by day
It's time for a new entry. I hope everyone read the prior one, so I will not have to deal with a lot of pregnancy well wishes. Not that it makes me bitter but it's all just recent and it's to scary to go back to those initial feelings.
All in all I think we're doing good. I'm surprised at myself for not having a lot of bad days and really being able to be grateful for those two months we spent with our first baby. It's hard to think of this little person at times because what do you remember it by? I do have a few things and I'm grateful for that too. It's a weird feeling to miss someone you've never met.
I looked through a book on miscarriage yesterday at the book store... just to see if I missed some important information... I guess everyone still somehow wants an answer... why why?
I was pleasantly surprised I was doing very well on all fronts. No conflict with my spouse (as it is common I read), no blaming myself, no insensitive remarks from friends and relatives - and I really want to thank everyone because the support was really wonderful. So I left the book where it was.
For me the hard part is to deal with the missing child, not the "why" as much. I've had enough of those why-situations in my life that I know asking this question is a dead-end road.
Maybe my feelings will change. For now I'm just happy I was pregnant those two months.
"Es bonita la vida, pero dura"
Posted at 08:28 PM on July 20, 2002What to say
This is quite strange to write.
I suffered a miscarriage.
I know this is common to happen, but it doesn't really help with the pain.
Thank you for all the nice emails and comments.
We are just very sad right now.
Positive
Yes, it is what it looks like.
I'M PREGNANT!!!
Lincoln and I are happy to announce that if all goes well we will be parents in February of 2003.
We are thrilled... although we both still can't believe it. A new person? A mix of me and him?
It wasn't easy keeping the news for ourselves for a month, but sometimes you just want to enjoy things in private for a while. I'm not nauseous, just quite sleepy and in general seem to lack all the major pregnancy symptoms, which I should be grateful for... Lincoln says. And I am. But then again, I'm just impatient.
Happy : )
UPDATE
I am officially unveiling the updated site! Thanks to Lincoln all the sections on the left are clickable now. Check out the "ABOUT ME" - he did the BEST job on it. I think it turned out great.
The titles for the links are basically indicating the language. I just put "associations" on there instead of "Spanish", "German" and "Croatian". I know, I'm just extremely artistic ;)
I am still planning on adding sections (well, have my personal webdesigner/husband do it) but for now I'm really happy with how it is.
I hope you like it and everyone feels the urge to post some comments!
me