Day by day
It's time for a new entry. I hope everyone read the prior one, so I will not have to deal with a lot of pregnancy well wishes. Not that it makes me bitter but it's all just recent and it's to scary to go back to those initial feelings.
All in all I think we're doing good. I'm surprised at myself for not having a lot of bad days and really being able to be grateful for those two months we spent with our first baby. It's hard to think of this little person at times because what do you remember it by? I do have a few things and I'm grateful for that too. It's a weird feeling to miss someone you've never met.
I looked through a book on miscarriage yesterday at the book store... just to see if I missed some important information... I guess everyone still somehow wants an answer... why why?
I was pleasantly surprised I was doing very well on all fronts. No conflict with my spouse (as it is common I read), no blaming myself, no insensitive remarks from friends and relatives - and I really want to thank everyone because the support was really wonderful. So I left the book where it was.
For me the hard part is to deal with the missing child, not the "why" as much. I've had enough of those why-situations in my life that I know asking this question is a dead-end road.
Maybe my feelings will change. For now I'm just happy I was pregnant those two months.
"Es bonita la vida, pero dura"
Posted at 08:28 PM on July 20, 2002