When did I grow up?
Recently I had to go to court. It's not what you think. It would've been my first attempt at legal interpreting, had the two individuals who needed me shown up. They didn't, but I still got to go to court. It was my very first time - not very exciting but interesting.
I assume the court building in Valparaiso is one of the oldest in town because it's built of stone and looks impressive - sort of European. Please don't laugh at me, I suck at architecture and architectural history.
Anyway before the hearing I was waiting outside in this rather stern building and caught myself in the "serious waiting mode" - that I remember noticing in my mom whenever she took me to something, well, serious.
She used to get this concentrated, serious and a little anxious expression on her face, looking straight ahead - and I knew, this is the time kids like me were supposed to shut up, stop dangling their feet and hitting the legs of the chair or the wall behind it, stop fussing and searching through her bag. Oh how I hated those errands. I didn't understand why adults were torturing themselves with being so serious and quiet all the time. Why do they spend so many hours of the day doing this? They can't possibly enjoy it. But at the same time I liked being there with my mom, because that's what my world was. What she said - that was it. No need to waste your time thinking or making decisions.
She must've also had some sort of rather collected way of sitting, her bag and gloves by her side - all very orderly, because that's how I was sitting there. Unconsciously I had recorded all these details and here I was thinking: something reminds me of my mom... why, it's me! I'm reminding me of her!
It was strange, I guess since one grows up gradually it's hard to actually feel the transformation from child to adult, but that's what I felt. I felt like my mom and instinctively I wanted to think "Oh, but I'm not really like her. She is a grown-up." Uhm. So am I. I realized: I am a grown up now. I am 27 and now there's no one sitting next to me, I'm awaiting orders from. It's just me. Nobody to speak for me. I'm the "adults". I looked around trying to see if any of the people standing around might have noticed what I was thinking. I was hoping they wouldn't notice my utter insecurity at being responsible for myself and realize I was just 6 and all I wanted to do was bang my feet against the wall while I let them dangle from the high bench I was sitting on.
I managed the 15-minute-appearance in court just fine. Everyone treated me like an adult - so I concluded my act was working. Afterwards I hurried across the street and had a hot chocolate. Luckily some things don't have to change.
hihihi, Dinka geht aus dem Gericht auf einen Kakao!
Genauso gehts mir auch oft, wenn ich irgendwo sitze, wirklich! Sitze steif und ruhig, als ob mich Mama beobachten würde, nervig...
Echt Süßes Foto!
:-)))))) reading this was fun, real fun !!!
That picture is so cute!