Still no baby
Being the nice person that I am, I sum up the only thing you check this site for at the top of the page ;)
The weekend was very frustrating. I had tons of contractions, some even quite uncomfortable and painful. It would last for hours, with me getting all excited and ready to meet this baby.. and then?! NOTHING. They would just leave me as they came. Very cruel, I can tell you.
Another doctor's appointment today... where I might have to fight for my freedom to wait for natural labor to start. The ironic thing is, I feel like natural labor starts and ends every day, only the baby never comes out!
One thing might be beneficial in all this though: by the time I'm in real labor I will be greeting each real, strong, painful contractions with glee instead of fear! Maybe that's nature's way of fooling me through the pain of birth? First drive me insane with promising labor signs, test my patience, confuse me with non-textbook-like behavior and then... BAM! drop a baby on me when I least expect it. (Well, nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!)
Please send some patience to northwest Indiana!!!
No, no baby yet.
We WILL let you know when it's coming, I promise! If you're impatient, just imagine how I feel ;)
Posted at 07:27 AM on July 26, 2003I suppose
... I owe everybody an update on what is supposed to be the end of my pregnancy. I just don't really know what to tell you. I've had several promising labor symptoms, but I'm told it could be just as easily tomorrow as in a week. Speaking of week - it seems I'm approaching a birth-deadline: if I don't manage to go into labor on my own in the next 7 days, I'm very likely to be receiving some medical "help". I am NOT happy about this. I've been quite confident my body would be able to know how to release this baby and I don't like being told otherwise.
Soooo... I am going to try really hard to meet this deadline. ;) I guess it doesn't help that I'm equally leary of "natural" induction methods as I am of medical ones (did you know what castor oil really does?!), so my "trying" basically means "really really wanting" to give birth soon. Surprisingly I haven't found a website that suggests that "really really wanting to" is a successful method of induction. But I could be first, huh? I'll let you know in a few days if the experiment is working...
Love Liza
We watched this movie yesterday and although it probably satisfied my need for sad movies (I didn't know I had any but now I know it's gone) for several months I really liked it. It's about a young man trying to cope with his wife's recent suicide. He doesn't know why she killed herself and spends a big part of the movie avoiding to open her suicide note. Philip Seymour Hoffman plays the main character and is brilliant in it - as usual.
Since you can read all about it, I'll just add what really hit a nerve with me. Obviously the young man cannot continue his life as usual and quickly everything just falls apart... but I must admit I don't understand how people somehow seem to expect him to keep going on. Everybody is very sympathetic but they still think he is nuts for "dropping out" of everyday life. I don't get it. Grief is so uncomfortable and unacceptable in our society that we really come to judge people who mourn or are sad for some reason. But how are we supposed to deal with things like these? If someone has an accident and breaks all his limbs in million pieces, everybody sees it as normal if they take several months to get back on their feet, but if you lose a loved one or experience some other emotional trauma, suddenly your recovery can't come fast enough. It seems if you are not visibly hurt, you just somehow need to "snap ouf of it" or hide - so nobody has to deal with your cumbersome grieving self.
I remember my own frustration when we had the miscarriage...it's like you are supposed to get better... soon! soon! And although I knew I would and I had never lost hope, I did need that time to feel miserable! Some events can be so traumatic that it leaves you with a sense of a complete vacuum. I was hurt by a guy once to the point that I had lost a little bit of my right mind if you want to call it that. I look back at the time and see that I wasn't myself completely. I suppose I knew it then as well but when you're in the middle of it, your perception is clouded.
Grief doesn't mean you have lost it forever (temporarily maybe :), you have given up or that there's something "wrong" with you. Yeah, things are not good, they suck. Yeah, it will get better eventually but until then they are BAD. There has to be room for that. It's part of life. It is life. It's not supposed to be a smooth ride and everything out of the norm is just an embarassing mistake.
I guess we are all lucky if we have someone in our life who will understand that and not urge us to "get it over with" - even if they are trying to be really subtle. Sometimes all you want to hear is: Yeah, you're right, it's bad and there's nothing we can do about it now.
How can you not love...
Monty Python? That's just my infallible opinion. I watched a pre-python tape yesterday: "How to irritate people" - and if you've seen John Cleese in anything, you'll know exactly what it's like.
Cleese says it all in the opening monologue: "...to help people become more neurotic. The tricky bit is to never push the unsuspecting victim too far. With skill and tact, we can keep tensions bottled up for weeks, months, eventually you may induce a nervous breakdown, or better still, actual damage to the brain cells."
It's the most accurate definition of "passive aggressive" I've seen so far.
Oh I miss those days when "Monty Python's flying circus" was on tv (repeats of course, I was born in the 70ies.. sorry!)...
Yes...still pregnant
Today is my 1st due date (doctor's estimate) - and, well, nothing. Absolutely nothing is happening. I'm getting more and more tired and the belly is heavier and heavier. I am passing the day with being busy, anxious, bored and tired.
If you want to help, you can... email (or call) me and tell me about your exciting life. Or you can come bring me some brownies. You could've also recorded the 3rd season of Six Feet Under and bring it to me to watch on tape. I would love you for that. Or a bunch of "Trading Spaces" episodes. For that, I'd make YOU brownies!
With little to do I am helplessly condemned to local daytime tv - and if you've ever had the opportunity to be sick or something like that, that made you stay at home in front of the tv during those hours - you KNOW what I'm talking about. What trash.
Anyway, since I'm nice and it's blueberry time, I'll give you this recipe that's the best of its kind that I've found so far. (For the Europeans: Use a standard yogurt-cup for the "cup" or a standard-sized coffee mug)
Blueberry Cream Muffins
Prep Time: approx. 10 Minutes. Cook Time: approx. 20 Minutes.
Ready in: approx. 30 Minutes.
Makes 2 dozen (24 servings).
4 eggs
2 cups white sugar
1 cup vegetable oil
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
4 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 cups sour cream
2 cups blueberries
Directions
1 Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C). Grease 24 muffin cups or line with paper muffin liners.
2 In large bowl beat eggs, gradually add sugar while beating. Continue beating while slowly pouring in oil. Stir in vanilla. In a separate bowl, stir together flour, salt and baking soda.
3 Stir dry ingredients into egg mixture alternately with sour cream. Gently fold in blueberries. Scoop batter into prepared muffin cups.
4 Bake in preheated oven for 25-30 minutes. (Until toothpick comes out clean)
Printed from Allrecipes www.allrecipes.com
Look!
My husband finished the cradle. Can you believe he made that? I'm so proud.
Posted at 09:59 AM on July 14, 2003 | Comments (4)So, when is Suzie going to come?!
This is me now... almost 39 weeks, almost done! I'm just worried this baby won't be big enough ;) Just kidding. We had a nice picnic at the dunes today and took those - to commemorate the last weeks of pregnancy. There won't be anymore belly pictures, but hopefully tons of baby ones!
You can see bigger versions of the photos if you click on them directly.
Colors
I had posted a close-up of the fabrics before, click here to see them...
Posted at 04:55 PM on July 07, 2003The crib is ready!
Lincoln put it together and I could finally show off my freshly-made bedding! Isn't it cute? The quilt is not done yet, I will need the baby to come out first to complete it. It has a block with the baby's name and stats on it and I don't know those yet.
The pictures are not the best because that room just doesn't have enough light and I can't move the crib out of it - yeah, it is too big for that (ok, our house is too small for that). Maybe you will just have to come and visit us then!
Hello summer in the midwest!
After all these months of cool spring weather, summer has arrived and it's serious. We have sunny, muggy hot weather with excruciating humidity interspersed with violent thunderstorms that cool things down for about 2-3 hours. Then it all starts again. Technically I shouldn't be able to breathe anymore. Not only is the baby really up in my lungs, but it's really humid and I have a cold on top of it all. It's especially fun at night. I feel like the elephant man... big, clumsy and making loud breathing and snotty sounds. Ask, Lincoln, I am quite the sophisticated European lady. :)
So I stopped working and used the first free day to start the end of my baby nesting. I went shopping. Turns out, everybody can tell I'm really pregnant! And they do really TELL. Everybody who had to talk to me (the ladies at the register...) and who did NOT have to talk to me, had to let me know they were very aware that I must be having a baby soon.
I can't really blame them - they were all very friendly and excited and full of well-wishing. I didn't get any stupid comments, but people don't realize they are not the first ones to ask me stuff. At the end I wanted to hang a sign in front of me with the following stats:
- Yes, it's soon. I'm 9 months along.
- No, I don't know exactly what sex the baby is.
- Yes, I am excited.
- Yes, this is my first.
- No, I'm not too anxious.
- Yes, we do have names picked out, we are not telling though. (yeah, not even you, I-have-never-seen-you-before-complete-stranger-lady!)
and
- You are the 243rd person to ask me these questions.
- I appreciate your interest, please don't tell me about how it was with your youngest.
- Touching only for a fee (=random amount that I get to pick).
You know, people somehow see my pregnant shape as some sort of statement I'm trying to make. I'm not just pregnant, I'm "doing" this so I get attention. Some people get a mohawk or pierce their tongue - I get pregnant. It's almost about the same thing. So, I shouldn't be surprised or inconvenienced if people stare at me and make comments, right?
I don't know what it is. People must not be seeing enough pregnant women. I suppose the only time you see a very pregnant woman is on TV and that's usually a sign that the plot involves either a very dramatic or very funny delivery. If you see a pregnant woman, then the pregnancy is not just one of the things she is, it's THE thing she is. So I guess I will have to stoically endure comments like: "Any time now!!" "Oh, not in MY store!" "Oh, please don't bend over!!!" "You are about to pop, aren't you!"
Yeah, people. I'm actually in labor - as soon as the belly gets big, women are basically in labor. I'm just walking out here to scare you and provoke you. I could give birth anytime, but I'm just holding on a little so I can have some fun with you. What did you say, mister?! Just wait, till I drop that deadly amoniotic fluid on you! What was that? Let me get one of those super-contractions to hit you over the head with! Just wait until I unleash my special woman-in-labor-cursing power! You will be running for your life.
Ok, I admit. I'm enjoying this a little :)