All Done
Veronika is weaned. I must admit it was through my encouragement. She also didn't seem to mind though, so that makes me a little less of a selfish and heartless mother.
It's funny how that happens. I was determined to nurse when she was born and I was lucky it worked out so well but to be honest, I was not happy when I realized how much time, energy and effort was involved (except for the eating, that was not so cumbersome). I couldn't believe this was going to go on for months and months... I suppose it didn't help that back then I barely got any sleep. In addition to that my "physique" had changed and I was desperate to go back to my previous shape but it soon became clear it wasn't going to work without weaning first.
And so. I nursed. With my curves a little bigger than I liked them but with a very happy bubbly baby. In fact, so happy and bubbly that after a few months I liked nursing and the effort it took grew smaller or so it seemed. So when the 12-month-mark was approaching, the time I was looking forward to being able to wean and my daughter would hopefully be ready to give it up, I looked for my huge sigh of relief and whatdoyouknow it was a sigh of sadness.
Nevertheless I tried to at least reduce the feedings a little and seeing Veronika had no complaints I went ahead and stopped nursing alltogether (not before I had reduced the feedings to one a day). Without planning though I had tricked myself a little, by doing the last nursing session without knowing it was the last one. I just thought I'd take a one-day-break which then turned into a week, and now almost two. All of a sudden, here we are, weaned from each other. It was over before I could do a big mourning fest and at the same time it gave me the confirmation that it was the right time to stop. My breasts are not convinced though. They're still unchanged, full, waiting. I suppose it makes sense. They're thinking it could just be a temporary separation, so they just hang on and keep this milk ready "just in case". Luckily they're not hurting me. Those times are over. Until the next baby of course... which will be much much... MUCH later. Right?
I find myself tempted to offer the breast again, but I know it would be just for my own reasons. Just to have "that feeling" one more time. That's when I try to imagine myself with my regular-sized bust and 10lbs lighter and wearing that skirt I haven't worn in almost two years and I'm cured. I make sure Veronika is happy without breasts in her life... Unless giving kisses to her favorite book is a sign of depression, she must be.
I am free to pursue my vain dreams of looking like myself again!
Posted at 03:06 PM on August 17, 2004
that made me cry Dinka! Going through some of the same with Gabriel but I think neither of us are ready to stop completely. I am glad it went so smoothly for the two of you. Now if we can be so lucky when our time comes up.
you may never get your breasts back to their smaller size. Pregnancy (not even breastfeeding necessarily) causes permanent change in the breast tissue, growth, etc. You may just have to get used to your new body.
Weaning is a bittersweet time. Congrats on making it through.
While I love bf my little daughter no one told me how wet, and tiring the process would be. My little girl feeds about every 2 hours if not more, she also puts on a pound a week, so it is going somewhere. But I do hope this gets better, I am longing for more than 2 hours of uninterupted sleep!
I'm coming on this late, but Jonathan and I just went through the same thing. I, however, made the mistake of offering "one last time" just to make sure he was ready to be weaned.
He assured me that he was by puking all over me.
The warm fuzzies are ALL gone.