Don't tell me
How is one supposed to deal with the news being a parent and all? I was never very capable of taking in a lot of gruesome information, be it fictional or real, but being a parent really did me in. I have zero capacity to hear about suffering and death, let alone when it involves children. I am trying not read about the tragedy in Russia but at this point, just knowing about it, is too much. It is all so frustrating. There is only so much one can take until you think you have to go and do something. But there is never anything you can do. We are concerned and shocked and then... on to the next catastrophe.
It's a conflict you have to live in all the time. I need all the hopeful and nurturing and positive feelings to raise a child, but I am supposed to acknowledge the fact that lots of hopeful, nurturing and positive things are being purposely destroyed on a daily basis. There is no way to unite these two things. I have a completely dependent little girl sleeping in the other room and my choice is clear. I have to live my life as if there is no cloud in the sky and it never will be. I might as well be racing towards a cliff. Who knows. I can't be scared either. Fear is toxic. So... I just ignore it all. If I don't see it, it's not there. The future is bright and happy and safe. Right? Right.
Posted at 02:41 PM on September 08, 2004
I feel your pain.
Iused to pride myself on being up on current events; I watched NBC nightly news and often watched O'Reilly Factor, but since the birth of my second son (& the realization that my oldest was learning from what we watched on TV), I've chosen not to watch it as much.
My wife is a cardiac nurse and deals with death on an almost daily basis, but when she heard about what happend in Beslan, she broke down and cried in the car the other day. I thought she knew about it, so when we got to the subject, I brought up a particular, and she lost it....Talk about feeling like a jerk!
I was watching the reading of names at Ground Zero this morning, and found myself crying, which was only compounded when my 2&1/2 year old son came up and put his hand on my back and said "Why you sad Daddy?".
What I do (As hokey as it might sound) is trust in the Lord, pray my rosary every day, and just keep going, because if you let the horrible and terrible thing sin this life consume you, that's all you will ever see.