New England fall really is that nice
I leave you with a picture from my street, discuss!
Maybe she is a little too big...
I'm watching BET (as opposed to WET= White Entertainment TV according to Dani's kids...) and they are repeating last year's 9th Walk of Fame ceremony, which honored Aretha Franklin. I'm enjoying her old hits, but why does she always come up with the most unflattering attire? I know she's a diva and all, but please, it's hard to see Aretha from all that... Aretha.
Posted at 01:36 PM on October 25, 2004 | Comments (1)
Cheesy reminiscing and feeling old
A few weeks ago Dave Chappelle organized this block party in Brooklyn where he got a bunch of his favorite artists together to perform for free on the street. One of the acts were the Fugees, a group that no longer performs together but somehow decided to do it for just this one event. I've been a fan of Lauryn Hill, the singer of the group, for about..., well, since the Fugees became famous, but actually when she released her first solo album. I don't know exactly what it was that made me like her so much, a lot of things... The perfect combination of voice, beat, music and story. The album was called "The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill" and at that time I didn't realize that miseducation was fitting my life perfectly, which is what happens a lot: you realize what you have been going through only when it's behind you. I remember her saying that it represented all the things you learned outside of school, things that couldn't be taught, like how to live life and who to be in the world. The album is full of songs about love and disappointment and betrayal and truth and it seemed to just nail so many feelings I had that I was addicted to listening to it, just because it was so incredible that someone seemed to not only be going through the same things but also drawing the same conclusions.
There is the song about growing up believing that people are good and that it is a good thing to respect people, who were here before you, only to wake up one day and realize that you were lied to and that most people who "made" it do not deserve it one bit. Oh the waking up was painful for me. It was that guy, who decided to omit the little fact that he had a girlfriend "to give himself the chance to get to know me", then a few people who asked for money and disappeared forever, the devoted friends who turned into less than acquaintances in less than 5 minutes, then the first boss who tried his best to make me believe that I really did not deserve to be paid and the second boss who was even better at it... and all the people, who fit the description of the ruthless dog-eat-dog-stereotype. I'm sure it sounds quite cliche - the end of innocence, the girl-meets-world-story... but for me it was crucial. I had to make the step from doing things because I was taught to do them or because they were expected of me, to doing things because I wanted them regardless of expectations and reactions. Learning to pick yourself up, finding the confidence to stand up to people, who in the business logic of things are supposed to be above you and ultimately acquiring the ability to not be nice but truthful when necessary- it was the hardest class and the ultimate exam and I had a whole CD to tell me about it.
And then there was the song about wanting to love someone and knowing that it won't work and twisting things and bending yourself in order to make the situation look straight and making yourself think it was a good thing because, after all, you invested so much. And then the other one about those first moments of being in love when it's right... which I didn't know much about at first. At first.
I loved that album. So I put it in the other day again and it was like revisiting that time, when you had to pick your paths in life, when the safe surroundings of school and family were gone and all the important stuff was decided. It was nice - obviously memories gloss over everything - to have music to remember those crucial times with. People like to smile at young people going through "all this drama" and I guess can see why. Once you get a little bit of a distance it all seems a little much, but if I'm honest I have to say without it I wouldn't be who I am. And as I listen I even miss it a little... not that I don't have drama anymore, but it's quite different. I had to find stability so that I can endure other parts of my life going crazy (one word: motherhood). Now is the time when I have the chance to make reality of the things I chose back then, and already now it's more than I could hope for. But sometimes it's good to go back to the time everything was still open and unknown. It helps put the presence in perspective.
There is a picture from the block party of Lauryn Hill performing with her "old" group and I can't help but imagine how she's feeling... what it's like to go back to singing those songs from the place in life she is now. I wish she released another hip hop album of more personal nature (her second album was more singer-songwriter style with more theory than story) - I'd like to believe we would have something in common. Maybe not. Anyway, I miss her.
What it's like to be in love... Posted at 04:18 PM on October 22, 2004
Garage Sale Queen
That's me! Several weeks ago I struck gold at a garage sale in Bethel and bought a TON of stuff for no money, ok, little money. Then I made it all beautiful and here it is for you to admire and say things like: "Wow, you did this by yourself?!" and "I am so impressed, never have I seen anything even remotely as breathtaking." I'm sorry this might take a while to load for some, but if you really like me, then you surely won't mind. These are before & after pictures, people!!!
The two best finds were a super-cute book shelf for Veronika's room and also a nice little dresser. The book shelf had peeling paint and horrible dark contact paper on it, it was $15. The dresser was rather dull with also some flowery contact paper on top - $10. Here they are:
The bookshelf...
...before and...
... after.
The dresser...
...before
... and after.
Now, wasn't this fun! One more: I also found a set of swivel armchairs with an ugly worn fabric, $25 for both. Here they are before:
And here, after my spectacular transformation and with dog and baby butt accessories:
You can see a wicker basket/box in the background as well, that one I got for $1 and spray-painted it to fit the new upholstery fabric. I am so amazing.
I had so much fun doing this, although it all takes quite a lot of time. Luckily my husband loves me and knows how important crafts really are. Plus I make him cookies.
Posted at 12:38 PM on October 11, 2004 | Comments (7)Pssst, this is about my husband...
I might not be allowed to tell you this, but it is just too cute to pass up and besides, I'm the wife and I wear the pants, dammit. Maybe you wouldn't guess it but between me and my husband, he is the one that will cry during movies. Not all the time but at appropriate times, like when a puppy gets caught in the graveyard shed overnight or when the heroine and the hero finally get to be together after overcoming massive obstacles and they enjoy a saturday afternoon in the park reading and she is all pregnant and cute and there is this romantic song playing in the background... Anyway, I meanwhile, will not cry. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the expectation that kills it for me. You know, when the moment is coming and you can feel, this is the time the audience is supposed to get emotional and teary-eyed, and I can't do it. I can cry on purpose (ok, I could a few years ago, I haven't tried it recently, so don't test me) but I can't cry genuinely when someone WANTS me to. A friend of mine says I'm cold. That is probably a valid explanation as well. I'm the ice queen. Aloof. Certainly a good word to describe me.
Back to my husband. Don't get me wrong, he's not a crier, but you can give his heart a tug and there he is, mushy mush. It is so cute. And SO attractive. He gets all boyish and helpless and adorable. I like romantic comedies when they're good, but my husband, he really likes them when they're good. I think he likes the fuzzy feeling... and so when we recently watched "Love actually" , you can imagine we had a good time, my husband watching, and me watching my husband. It had all the right things (except puppies, which is too bad, because puppies would have fit right in) - awkward lovers finding each other after massive obstacles and unlikely matches all over the place. It was delightful and immediately put on our Christmas list, no questions asked.
Since Veronika arrived, things have obviously only gotten "worse". There is the baby girl, more powerful than any puppy or couple in love could ever be. She is better than "You've got mail" with the smiles and the cooing and the soft "pa-pa?"-s in the morning and the gentle wet kisses and the irresistible laughter when tickled under her chin. I get to see the blissful smile and the helpless body language on my husband almost every day. It's like this little shiny dewy aura descends and he would turn into bubbles if that would make her laugh more.
Aaah.. who knows, maybe one day I will be able to cry. It seems like I'm pretty pretty close.
Posted at 01:42 PM on October 07, 2004 | Comments (2)Update
We are back from Toronto where we got to spend a week while Lincoln was attending some training for work. I don't know what to tell you - it was a weeklong trip with a 14-month-old in a downtown hotel room. When she took naps, I took naps, which basically meant lying still pretending to sleep. When she went to bed at 7 or 8 p.m. - we went to bed! Here we were in downtown Toronto, with the "Four Seasons Hotel" a block down and a Prada store around the corner and we go to bed at 8 o'clock. I knew we were going to stay downtown and I was excited about it. I was ready to be the urban mama, the cool, completely in control, self-assured, extremely well-dressed mother, pushing my uber-cute toddler and feeding off of the jealousy of the people passing by. I can hear you all laughing, but for me it was sad, because none of these things came through for me and they were SO important!
As I was trying to enjoy the advantages of the shops and sights Veronika was trying to make my life miserable. She did not want to be in the stroller, but just walk, which was impossible. If we went to a cafe or restaurant, she would scream to get out of the stroller or the highchair. If I let her walk, she'd constantly try to close and open doors and walk in front of the waiters or she climbed stairs! How did I deserve this? The week I get to spend in Toronto, she decides to learn how to climb stairs?! She would scream in the stores if I didn't let her out, if I did, she would walk all over the place and I'd have to follow her which left no time for ME. ME ME ME! I need some time for my enjoyment, kid! My time was running out as naptime was always rapidly approaching. My bubble was bursting in a million little pieces in slow, s l o w motion and raining down on me as I gave up and surrendered - once again - to my daughter's wishes. "As you say, sweet Princess!" Attempting some sort of harmony one last time I took her to the bookstore. We both like children's books, I thought, - we will look through them and be happy. Unfortunately the children's section at the bookstore had a small flight of stairs... And that was that. From that day on, we spent our days at the park and in the hotel, watching cartoons, eating dirt and chasing pigeons.
We all returned home relieved. It's nice to get away but that child needs to learn some vacation skills! Veronika and I resumed our daily routines with a little more energy... It's fall. Fall always feels like a beginning, even sweeter when you don't have to go to school (yes, I'm still glad about that). And just as we returned, Veronika decided to display some new levels of cuteness and I am wondering how such a precious little thing can display such nasty behavior. You should hear the protest marches and demonstrations she puts up. If you thought WTO-conference-unruliness is bad, come to my house! She actually roars at me.
Well, anyway, remember how I just wrote she wouldn't go shopping with me? Guess what, my daughter now SHOPS. In the last few days she's been adorning herself with anything long and necklace-looking. She puts on my tape measures and Digby's leash and the occasional real necklace I have also surrendered to her and she parades around going about her business with long, flowing beautiful accessories. I suppose it was only natural that when I went to the mall yesterday to buy her some pants and tights, she actually purchased her first own piece of jewelry. Obvioiusly, the reason she could do that is that I had to release her from the captivity that is the stroller (after some screaming, yay!) and so she wandered around, came back to take the pants I had picked out for her and then holding her one purchase in one hand, she grabbed a necklace and bracelet set with the other and followed me to the cashier. I lifted her and the sales guy scanned her items. I didn't even touch the stuff until we left the store! She bought herself some bling!!!
Here is the spectacular piece...
... and that's how you rock it:
