Cooked in Connecticut
My life is a string of outwardly insignificant little annoying tasks that always need to be done, half the time do not work out and only occasionally depend on my resolve, skill and commitment. It's somewhat of a toss-up and it tires me to the point of unbearable anger or unbearable indifference, depending on the day and my level of energy. I feel like the legend of the hausfrau, always busy, huffing and puffing, shaking her head, blabbering on about what a nuisance this and what a disgrace the other! Her head is filled only with mundane little problems that are boring to everyone and completely irrelevant to the eventual course of the world. She is too short-sighted to be employing her brain and energy on the real challenges of life. She wears an apron and her hair sucks. "That is not me. Is it?" - is a question I will ask myself several times a day. I am too strapped in into everything though, have to keep things running and so the question is just in the background, helping my daily annoyance level.
I tell myself it can't be me, since I am suspecting it... you know, they say, you can't be crazy if you know you're crazy, but please, can this crap stop or what. I am tired of calling the post office, inquiring about the package they lost, which will now cost me an extra $45 (no, I did not get insurance). I am tired of moving money around, taking from Peter to pay Paul, I am tired of stupid cleaning and being in charge of the "childrens" ' peeing schedule. I don't want to spend $500 to fix the car even though if I don't we'd have to find an alternative to driving without brakes...
You know... crap. when will it stop? I have a haircut appointment tomorrow. Maybe then I will be the proverbial hausfrau but with fabulous hair.
Posted at 03:02 PM on July 19, 2005"Helpin? Mama? Helpin?"
This is what Veronika sets up for me every time I start making dinner. I don't notice it at first. It's only when I start feeling like punching someone that I realize I've been avoiding 17 obstacles in a 20-square-foot space for about half an hour.
Posted at 08:31 AM on July 09, 2005Augenweide
This site is wonderful, but for me mostly because of its awesome collection of Cres photos.
Noni rocks
Veronika will be two in less than a month, which is just unbelievable, but also really cool. I feel like I'm enjoying her now more than ever. Several months ago things were pretty rough. I was going crazy with all the whining and complaining. Then sometime after 18 months things got better. She started to speak more and more and here we are now having mini-conversations about food or sleep or Maisy. I am so excited about getting to know her this way. It's amazing to be able to watch her put things together in her head and express herself and communicate things. After my weekend away a few weeks ago I had to be with Veronika by myself for several days and I dreaded it. (I'm not going to explain it, if this statement startles you, have a baby and wait until they're a toddler, then think again.) It went much better than I thought though. Another advantage of a toddler vs. a baby is that they can participate in things, so you can take them places and they will appreciate it. We went to our swimming class and had donuts afterwards. (Veronika LOVES donuts. She will eat one and a half in a sitting). The only mistake was that I announced it too early and so all the way to the donut place she was saying "Mama? Donuts? Mama? Donuts? Mama? Donuts?" I do love the talking, but please, take a breath! Then we went to the park and to the library and to the dog park. We had ice cream together...
I know babies are cute and all, but toddlers are just so cool. Toddlers give hugs and kisses, they make up songs and will munch donuts with you. They will also make your life really hard if you don't fulfill their - now verbally (although still unclearly) stated - requests. I am sort of nervous about the Terrible Twos (or threes) but then there is so much more payoff with the times that are happy and tantrum-free. I'm beginning to see why people start having a second child around this time... you just want more of this sweet toddler stuff and enough time has passed that you forgot they weren't exactly born this way.
I'm having a good time. Given that my motherhood archives seem to be more on the depressing side, I figured it was time to remind myself that right now is a really good phase, and also, I'm really good mother. Had to sneak that in. Sorry.
Posted at 02:56 PM on July 07, 2005 | Comments (2)So how was your weekend?
Head over to Lincoln's site for a beautiful summary.
Posted at 11:24 AM on July 06, 2005