Cooked in Connecticut
My life is a string of outwardly insignificant little annoying tasks that always need to be done, half the time do not work out and only occasionally depend on my resolve, skill and commitment. It's somewhat of a toss-up and it tires me to the point of unbearable anger or unbearable indifference, depending on the day and my level of energy. I feel like the legend of the hausfrau, always busy, huffing and puffing, shaking her head, blabbering on about what a nuisance this and what a disgrace the other! Her head is filled only with mundane little problems that are boring to everyone and completely irrelevant to the eventual course of the world. She is too short-sighted to be employing her brain and energy on the real challenges of life. She wears an apron and her hair sucks. "That is not me. Is it?" - is a question I will ask myself several times a day. I am too strapped in into everything though, have to keep things running and so the question is just in the background, helping my daily annoyance level.
I tell myself it can't be me, since I am suspecting it... you know, they say, you can't be crazy if you know you're crazy, but please, can this crap stop or what. I am tired of calling the post office, inquiring about the package they lost, which will now cost me an extra $45 (no, I did not get insurance). I am tired of moving money around, taking from Peter to pay Paul, I am tired of stupid cleaning and being in charge of the "childrens" ' peeing schedule. I don't want to spend $500 to fix the car even though if I don't we'd have to find an alternative to driving without brakes...
You know... crap. when will it stop? I have a haircut appointment tomorrow. Maybe then I will be the proverbial hausfrau but with fabulous hair.
Posted at 03:02 PM on July 19, 2005