The New Kid and Motherhood times two
Read here about the name choice and a short update.
Things feel definitely easier this time around. I don't know if this is temporary and if it's only because I'm not new to it all, because Ivan is such an easy baby (so far) or because of all of the above. I assume it's all of it, but I can definitely say that the subsequent babies benefit from being, well, not first. I know every child is different, but I feel I have a much better mental disposition this time around. I sort of know what's coming and all the scary parts don't look so scary once you know you've overcome them before. I have a better idea of time and what it means in connection to babies. With Veronika every stage seemed like the final one. I couldn't really grasp what it meant that she would only do something for a few weeks or months. In my head it all seemed like eternity. She would never sleep through the night, she would always need to be nursed, I would never be able to put her to sleep without rocking her in the sling for an hour first etc. This time around I feel I will base my hopes on prior palpable experience and so the feelings of despair should not be as frequent - ESPECIALLY if this kid keeps up with his sleeping habits!
I have always done better with things the second time around. The first week of driving lessons... terrible. The first day riding a horse... disaster. The first day skiing... tears over tears. I'm not the person, who just kind of "gets it" and rolls with it right away. I need to get a feel for things first to get some confidence. On second try I tend to do better, mostly because I already went through the failure, mistakes and disappointment and so the fears have lessened... I mean what else could go wrong that I haven't experienced yet? So, I've learned to pace myself, because after lagging behind the others in the first round, I'd more than catch up later and so I hold off on the feelings of failure until I get another chance. Maybe it will be similar with motherhood... maybe the second time around I will have the advantage of having struggled with it earlier, I don't know. For now it seems I was blessed with a really good start.
I can't say much about the double "burden" of having two children yet, because my mom is here and Lincoln is going back to work tomorrow and I'm totally denying the fact that one day I will wake up and it will just be me and the two of them. Veronika is in love with Ivan though and recently went through a developmental spur as far as her speech is concerned, so at least communication should be easier. She hasn't had any tantrums lately either, so I'm hoping for an (at least temporary) reprieve.
As for my own post partum situation... uhm. The shock over the damage on my body is much smaller, because again, I expected it. It is quite worse as far as sag and stretching goes, plus I have to deal with a lot more extra weight than last time. What has been a little of a surprise is the fact that my abdominal muscles are completely dead. The constant backache from the last weeks of pregnancy didn't stop until I got... the Girdle! Oh, the girdle is a blessing. It is atrocious to behold, especially on my body, but it does miracles. First and foremost the backache is gone! I can bend over and turn around without pain and generally feel like my body is actually in one piece. It is truly amazing to find out that abs are not just there to be exercised, but to actually facilitate painfree movement. Anyway, the Girdle is the way to go, also to help bring that belly back into the lower body cavity. See, my demands are getting modest by the hour: all I want is for my body to resemble the non-pregnant state while non-pregnant. Ha.
Posted at 05:25 PM on April 02, 2006
1. Awesome name choice, and I loved reading about the reasons for the name. I always find that fun (to hear how and why people chose the names they did). Not sure why I like that-guess it is a geeky thing about me.
2. I think there is something about second babies...
3. I am glad the girdle is working out. I wonder if it is worth the investment when the baby is 17 months postpartum, LOL. I need some equally miracle working device for my boobs...(I apologise to any menfolk who are reading).