Maybe she is like me... a little
Veronika loves pretend play. It's not just the usual "I'm a mommy" and "I made you some delicious (fake) coffee" - type of stuff, it's entire imaginary scenarios she lives out, talking to the wall, moving invisible objects and addressing non-existent friends. When she first started doing it, I found it adorable and funny, but nothing out of the ordinary, until I saw other people's reaction and it occurred to me that this is not necessarily what everyone did when they were small.
As far as I can remember, pretending to be someone else was my daily entertainment when I was little (and not that little anymore). I was usually having important conversations in other languages (and yes, I had different fake languages for English and German and Italian) or was in some spectacular dance recital, sometimes by myself, sometimes in a fabulous chorus line. I don't remember a lot of details, but just that I had a lot of fun and felt completely un-selfconscious and free... well until someone passed by and happened to witness something. Pretend universe crumbles immediately when an outsider shows up. It is obvious in the most corny Disney-like way: if you don't believe, it can't exist! Oh tragedy! Little fairies are dying!
Anyway, I am sure there is some scientific explanation for why children like to pretend play and also why some children prefer it to other kinds of entertainment, which might be relevant or not, but doesn't really interest me. You could say in my case it had something to do with the fact that all my siblings were a lot older than me and I spent a lot of time playing on my own, or the fact that I didn't have a lot of toys and there's only so much you can do with two dolls and two outfits... but I doubt it. It's just how I was and probably still am. Unlike the burdensome imperative of Disney that your "dreams will (thereby meaning MUST) come true" I didn't feel an urge to make my made-up realities true. I just loved living there occasionally. I called the shots and I chose my identity. It was a safe environment and I think eventually it became a tool to gain confidence. If you spend a good amount of time functioning freely in an uncensored environment the awareness of being comfortable with yourself adheres to your consciousness beyond the imaginary world. Well that and also, I was nerdy, for sure.
I don't spend my days playing pretend anymore, but I do occasionally enjoy the taste of it. Maybe a song, or a scent or a scene takes me to a different world for a second and I take a vacation from the things at hand and I am somewhere else and look at the surroundings from a distance. It's liberating and relaxing; a moment to be free from other people's perceptions and expectations.
I am glad to see Veronika in her own world, I can relive the happy moments even though I don't know what she is imagining. Even if - or because - no one ever gets to see it, creating itself is exhilarating.
Posted at 04:33 PM on May 10, 2006
until I saw other people's reaction and it occurred to me that this is not necessarily what everyone did when they were small.
People always seem to act strangely at what makes us creative, imaginative or just unique...that is unless it makes us rich, then we cease to be strange.
I grew up in my own little world. I can really relate to your whole post. My youngest two especially, make up scenarios as well, but, I think, not as much as I did. Too much TV. If only I could throw that hunk of junk out...
How are you feeling?