If you're not dizzy by the end of this post, you were cheating.
Those who have children will know that the challenges of parenthood change every few years, months and sometimes weeks. You can never really feel accomplished as children present you with new tricks every day, so that you may feel humble and also lose your mind. Veronika has turned three and her speech abilities are extraordinary. She is bilingual (stronger in English somewhat) and she can say almost anything she wants in both languages. And she does! She says it all. A lot. I can't say I'm unhappy about that, but what I am unhappy about is the end of conversation as we know it between me and Lincoln. I will try to
- Mama?
- Yes?
- The green, where is it?
- What green?
- I need the green.
- I don't know what you're talking about.
- Mama?
- Yes.
- (silence)
- Mama?
- Yes.
- (silence)
demonstrate here what it is like these days to attempt a simple exchange of thought in verbal form, e.g. conversation while also being in the presence
- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. MAMAAAAAAAAA I HURT HERE! Give it a kiss!
- Here you go.
- Thank you, mama. I need miiiilk! Miiilk, mama, miiilk
of a child who
- Mama?
- Yes.
- I.. uh... (prolonged silence)
is three years
- Mama?
- Y E S.
- Where is Drew?
- At his house.
- WHAT?
- At his house.
- At his house?
- Yes.
- I want to go.
- I know. We'll go soon.
- WHAT?
old and talks a lot. Ideally I could also reproduce here the tone of voice she uses when she says "Mama?" because it conveys entitlement, demand and also a certain quality usually pertaining to dog trainers, something to the effect of "when I say jump, you jump". The key element
- Mama! Look. Look at this.
- Uh-huh.
- Look. I do it like this and like this and like this (makes some kind of contortion)
- Uh-huh.
here is the
- Mama?
- Noni can have the Cinderella rolleskates when she is bigger.
timing. She has that sixth sense to know exactly how many seconds to let pass between saying "mama?" and also when a conversation is about to start, has started or has reached its main point. This will create a sensation
- Can I turn the light on?
- No. It's light outside, we don't need the light on.
- I neeeeed the light, it's dark.
- No, it's not.
(she turns the light on)
- Turn the light off.
- WHAT?
- Turn the light off.
- Turn the light OFF??
- Yes.
- WHAT?
of unspeakable frustration which will soon inevitably give way to anger. Imagine someone poking you repeatedly in your shoulder or hammering on your head with a tiny hammer. It doesn't really hurt but causes just the right amount of discomfort. It goes on endlessly and then as soon as it stops and you want to breathe a sigh of relief
- Mama?
- What is this?
- A ball.
- A ball?
- Yes.
- Is it Noni's ball?
- No.
- WHAT?
- It's not your ball.
- What ball is it? The people's?
- Yes.
- The people's?
- Yes.
- Mama?
- Yes.
- Uh... ah...
it starts again. The constant hammering. Now add to that a sleep deprived mind and body and the challenge to keep it together and just pretend to be patient is
- Mama?
- Yes.
- It's the people's ball?
- Yes.
- Noni can't have it.
- No.
- Where is Noni's ball?
- I don't know, somewhere.
- WHAT?
becomes the hardest thing you ever had to do. Hammer hammer hammer... uh, ANYWAY, I said... hammer hammer... SO, what I was saying is... Our conversations contain mostly "anyway" and "so" and end abruptly with a short "nevermind!". We end up communicating with glances - "Oh God, she is in her best form tonight!" or "I am about ready to shoot myself. How about you?" or "When is she moving out?" or "I miss you. See you in 15 years."
- Mama?
- Yes.
- Noni wants to go on the lellow bus.
- Yes, one day you can go on the lellow bus.
- But I want to.
- I know. Soon you can -
- WHAT?
- ...go. You can go soon.
- WHAT?
- ...
- Mama?
- hrmphfsssss
- Mama?
- Lalalalalalalala
- MAMA?
- greenbluelellowbusladidahding ding dong...
Aren't you glad I didn't mention the barking dog or the whining baby in the background?
Posted at 12:42 PM on August 13, 2006
Ohmygosh! Sounds so familiar (just not in German). Matthew is currently on steroids, and it makes him hungry.
-Mommy, I hungry (3 seconds)
-Mommy, I hungry
-Mommy, I hungry
-OK, just a second
-Mommy, I want yogurt.
-Ok, I'll get you yogurt. (gets yogurt)
-Mommy, I hungry, I want peanut butter and jelly.
-Peanut butter and jelly.
Peanut butter and jelly.
-Peanut butter and jelly.
-No Matthew, wait, It is almost lunch time, you just had yogurt. I will make your sandwich when I make lunch.
-No Mommy, I hungry. (tears)...
-Enough already!
heheheheheeee! Oh, I am NOT laughing at you...I'm laughing WITH you. We can get our own padded cell together. If our daughters were the same age, they might really click. OR, they might reeeeeeeeally hate each other, for being so similiarly precocious. Josh and I definitely have that over-their-heads look that says basically all we are able to say. We can't even spell things over her head, and my brain is far too fried to try something like pig-latin (let alone another REAL language!). Do you ever wonder what your son will be like at 3? Ours is there now, and he is SO different from his big sister! Astounding! I love how their personalities are so unique and special. :)