dinka

Beauty is on the inside, right? It must.

We bought a new computer and apart from being literally all bright and shiny, it also has this nice application where it rotates photos from your folders in a little window on the right side of the desktop. That way as you are clicking away you can walk down memory lane (I hate this phrase, actually) as random pictures from your past pop up in the corner of your eye. Most of the time this is fun, except the other day when I ended up clicking through a set of photos from 2004 and realized how much younger I looked. A lot younger and smoother and generally more awake. It's not so much that I have a problem with being older, but here I am, 33 and my skin already seems to have turned a permanent palette of gray, my hair is soon following suit in strands and my puffy eyelids are about to completely cover my eyelashes. Or so it seems.

I'm thinking I'm doing something wrong, but all the possible causes I come up with seem to have been unavoidable. First, time passed, nothing to be done there. Second, I had three kids - not really something I regret. Third, kids did not sleep and consequently messed up my sleeping. Also, they behaved like kids and stressed the heck out of me. I guess the challenge is to work hard at what is important in life but at the same time maintain the appearance as if it all just came to you effortlessly. I don't know how to do that. I'm assuming I have joined all the other loser mothers, who "by taking care of their kids have forgotten to take care of themselves". This is another phrase that can drive me up the wall. It's not like I have forgotten. I have plenty of ideas. I've just been waiting for my schedule to free up. Any day now...

A few months ago I watched Jennifer Aniston, who just turned forty, tell Oprah that she looks so good for her age because "You know, I take care of myself (she elaborated: eating right, yoga, running...)." Wild applause followed. I don't want to look like a movie star, but it would be nice to see an old looking thirty-year-old, whose droopy and tired face is blown up on the big screen on the Oprah show and when she asks "How do you get to look this way?" she could say "Well, you know, I take care of OTHER PEOPLE. (and then elaborate: eating leftovers, not sleeping nearly enough, living with toddlers...)" And THEN hear wild applause, maybe even get an Oprah hug instead of audience sympathy and a make-over.

Until then maybe I just need to change strategies, you know, if this "isn't working for me". I'll just tell my baby to not wake me before 7 am and the older ones to reduce stubbornness by about 50% and increase cooperation by 35%. I'm willing to do this step-by-step. We'll negotiate our needs. Mommy has to take care of herself or she'll look 80 before she is 50. I'm sure my kids will understand. They seem like the reasonable type...

Posted at 10:27 AM on March 03, 2009

Comments

You rock, dinka. Keep it coming! (I sure hear you on this one...)

Posted by kate at March 3, 2009 4:25 PM

LOL!

I'm there with you...I actually spend more than I should on makeup and beauty products. I have a weakness for them.

Do you have a foundation that gives you a nice smooth palatte? I think that makes a big difference. Right now I really like my foundation--Revlon something or other (I know the word Flex is in it).

Also, I have a couple tips from Allure mag for healthier younger skin but at this moment I cannot remember them (I haven't tried them yet). It involves one thing in the morning and a differen thing at night (I'm talking about ingredients, not a specific, name-brand product). Will get back to you on it...I saw a product from Neutrogena that looked like it would fit the bill...

Posted by Lindsey at March 4, 2009 4:05 AM

I totally get the sentiment, because I wonder how great I would look without these crazy little people stressing me out and keeping me up at night. But don't believe the hype. Dinka doesn't look like she has hit her thirties yet.

Posted by Dani at March 4, 2009 12:06 PM

Great post, you write so well, you sum it up so rightfully!
I agree that there is a major problem with the media (especially the PRINT media, totally manipulating the pictures of the already glammed up stars), proposing us unreachable standards. I don't have daughters, but if I did I would make darned sure they'd be protected as long as possible by such bullshit...
On a personal side, I totally hear you about feeling sleep-deprived and seeing ourselves not as glam-looking as we used to be (even though I am sure you look great! Wait until you hit 39, then the crap hits the fan!!!)...I was never very much into make up, but ever since having kids, I discovered that those 10 minutes in the morning putting make up on can save me several moments of anxiety during the day when I catch myself in the mirror! Find a good foundation that works for you...and clean religiously your skin every night...and fight for your right to a hairdresser session every month or so! You deserve it so much!! Keep up the fantastic writing!

Posted by Clo at March 5, 2009 6:39 AM

Ummm... never mind Oprah, personally, I can't stand her.

I have always thought those pictures of old ladies from the "old countries" with the long gray hair pulled back in buns, and brightly coloured kerchiefs wrapped around their heads, their eyes crinkling as they smile, and the smile lines making their smile even broader, the most awesome and beautiful pictures of women.

THOSE women have LIVED life. I look at those women and think "I want to be like that someday.

Then I look in the mirror and think "but not yet"

Posted by Jeanne at March 6, 2009 7:06 PM

And I always wondered what their long grey hair looked like undone.

Posted by Pansy Moss at March 9, 2009 1:47 PM