How I clean the bathroom
Or, "Don't do as I say nor as I do"
A silent play in one act (over several days)
(It begins with an uneasy feeling): There is something I haven't done in a while... Can't quite remember what it is. It's definitely nothing fun.
(Enters bathroom): Oh. Right.
(Leaves bathroom)
--- A few days later ---
(Enters bathroom): I really should clean the bathroom.
(Leaves bathroom)
--- The next day ---
(Brushes teeth dangerously close to the sink): This is quite gross. I need to just get it over with. Focus on the nice and clean bathroom-to-be. It will be wonderful... what a wonderful thing it is to have things nice and clean...
(Leaves bathroom)
---- The next day ----
(Enters bathroom with cleaning supplies. Feels immensely efficient. Feels like she's really got this housewife business down pat. The bathroom at this point still remains untouched.): Let's start with the toilet. Quick and satisfying.
(Actually cleans toilet!)
(After toilet is sparkly, turns slightly to the right to tackle sink): Uhhm... now I have to move all this crap off the sink in order to wipe it.
(Looks at her watch): Wait, I haven't checked facebook in like 12 minutes!
(Leaves bathroom)
--- Two hours later----
(Looks up from the computer): Where am I? What time is it? Crap. The kids are screaming! Only half an hour until dinner time! I didn't do anything!
(PANICS)
(Enters bathroom in a frenzy. Removes crap from sink, wipes sink. Repositions crap back on sink. Grabs Mr. Clean, douses bathtub, scrubs bathtub sloppily, rinses bathtub, grabs rag, wipes floor, sloppily. Final touch: Wipes mirror. Total time of half-assed bathroom cleaning: 10 minutes.)
---- The next day ---
(Husband enters bathroom): Wow, you cleaned the bathroom!
(Successfully replaces memory of dread filled days of avoidance with agony of hard work which never actually took place and gives herself a totally undeserved pat on the back): I did!
Well, you DID. That's all that matters.
Kelvin (who's 7.5) cleans our bathrooms (not as well as we would) every week. And earns his 5 dollar allowance. (We still sweep, he does the toilet and sink, oh, and the mirrors, kind of :-). Of course he needs close supervision (which feels almost as if we're doing it ourselves), but... well, it works!