Dinner: It's what I'm leaving behind in the 2000s
After a weeklong vacation preceded by a longish holiday I am back home in what the calendar says is a new year, but it seems all my old chores made the transition just fine and are still here. I realized I'm willing to pay for the vacation in masses of laundry, I'm even ok with herding the kids to bed, to the bathroom, to the table, to school... and back. What I'm not willing to go back to is making dinner. I haven't had to make dinner more or less in ten days and that little break just made me hate it more.
I don't mind cooking and I derive quite a bit of joy from feeding my family, but the task of bringing a substantial meal to the table every day is so much more. It starts with the mere fact that it cannot be postponed. We have to eat. I resent that. Then, there are the following conditions to be taken into consideration when preparing not one meal here and there but a million on a regular basis:
- It should be healthy.
- It should not be too repetitive.
- Most people in the family should like it or at least be able to eat a sufficient amount for survival.
- It should not be expensive.
- It should include ingredients that are available in the grocery stores I frequent (or am willing to frequent).
- It should be relatively easy to make and not take too long and not be too fussy and...
Considering all this I have - like many other people - resorted to planning my meals ahead of time. This requires looking through stacks of recipes and checking the pantry and the sales and then making a list. After this there is the actual shopping (with 1 or 2 children in tow), hauling all the stuff home and then putting it all away. At this point we haven't yet eaten a bite. Every day around 4 o'clock in the afternoon, when the children are at their worst, tired and hyper, I start getting out the pots and chopping up the onions. I am ready to be done with the day myself, but no, we still have to... eat. The kids take the living room apart, while Nikola is either hugging my legs or pushing his body against me with all his might. I am trying to prepare my healthy, palatable, economical meal, simultaneously trying to listen to Veronika read her daily assigned book or discipline her into doing her homework. I hate that time of the day. It's a circus.
Finally the meal is done, the sound of the garage door opening means Lincoln is home... the first sign that my couch time is near. Then we sit down to eat and honestly, I am sick of it. I eat it, because I'm hungry, but the thrill is gone. I knew this meal before it ever saw the light of the day. At that point, dinner, you are just calories to me. I have to admit I do care what my family thinks of it, as their satisfaction can give a sense of "it was worth it" to my lack of motivation. The kids will declare they don't like it before they have even touched it, unless it's mac & cheese, pizza or pasta. (And steak!) That doesn't save them from having to try and eat a few bites. Now the dinner I already reluctantly made and consumed without much joy is turned into yet another hour of whining and disciplining. I didn't want to make it, they never wanted to eat it. I can't help but feel that someone is seriously messing with me. Luckily my husband always eats willingly and has learned not to make even the slightest negative comment. I very much appreciate that and I do think he enjoys it most of the time, but I don't want to know for sure...
When all is said and done, I face the kitchen cleanup. I'm not sure if maybe I hate that even more than the cooking. The cleanliness is so shortlived. In fact while the kitchen is at its cleanest, I sleep. Rereading all of this, the whole endeavor is pretty much futile. I keep thinking of all the things I could do instead. So much fuss and just about eating. (Or not-eating! Ask my kids!) I declare dinner canceled for 2010.
Posted at 01:14 PM on January 05, 2010
Oh boy, I feel you. The only thing that keeps me even somewhat motivated to make meals is that Josh tackles the dishes on nights that he is home. He is more willing to do this because he got an mp3 player a while back that he uses to listen to audio books, downloaded from the library. He has a never-ending "stack" and enjoys listening to them, so it works out okay in everyone's favor. Moms who do all the cleanup every night after making every meal...I seriously don't know how they don't kill themselves or give up on it altogether.* I mean, after the meal, everyone has to be herded into the bathroom for tooth-brushing, baths (if applicable), then pjs, clean up bedrooms, etc. Forget even having any relaxing family time together--after the whole dinner escapade (which you astutely point out, actually begins around 4pm), we just want them in bed ASAP!!
*I'm quite the bad housewife...on nights that Josh isn't here, the dishes basically don't get done. Which of course makes for a horrible start to the next day, as it's the first thing that greets me, even before my coffee. I often will work around all the dirty dishes until we don't have anymore or until Josh is home for a night and can wash them again. However, we are teaching dd age 9 to do dishes and load them into the dishwasher after meals now.
I have that dishes stacking thing going on as well. I do usually do something about it before the day is over though. Maybe not everything.. but our mornings are so grump (eh, I am grumpy) that I need to clear the way as much as possible.
I think i'll be making a lot of sandwiches this year...
I hate sandwiches, unless someone else makes one for me. They always taste better made by someone else.
Other things that make sandwiches better: homemade bread, lettuce, pickle, tomato.
I guess I hate them because a basic, standard sandwich around here consists of store-bought whole wheat bread, some lunch meat, some cheese (real cheese, not American singles), and some condiments--mayo and/or mustard. SO BORING!!
I totally feel for you, too. In a sense, we are lucky because the main hot meal of the day is lunch, which the kids eat at school (except weekends, of course) and our dinners tend to be fairly quick and boring: spaghetti, or soup and a fried egg, or some kind of wrap, or if I'm feeling ambitious, some fried fish and vegetable. We also feed the kids first, put them to bed, then eat our own dinner (usually a sandwich) on the couch.
But meals with the kids (one kid in particular) are often very stressful around here as well. Much more so if MIL is around and firing off instructions with every other breath (Cut it into smaller pieces for him! No, give him a big fork! Why don't you give him some bread? Aren't you going to warm up the milk before you give it to them? Make him eat that! He has to finish that part, too!) You get the idea...
Coming back to this today to say that I'm aspiring to baking sandwich bread more in 2010. I think that alone will make sandwiches a lot more enjoyable! :D
Wow, that's cool. Not sure how that fits into the "less time spent on dinner" category though... :)
Anyway, I was going to say that your description of sandwich does sound a bit monotone. This is what I do (because you didn't ask): always have something crunchy/watery in it, e.g. lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, roasted peppers (jar). Mix mayo with a bit of balsamic vinegar and italian spice mix.
Possible sandwich variations at our house:
- standard: lunchmeat, cheese, mayo, lettuce/tomato
- Mozzarella, roasted peppers, pesto, salami
- caramelized onions with goat cheese or blue cheese or any cheese, really
- Leftover chicken with mayo and lettuce
- Leftover chicken with bbq sauce
- Grilled brie cheese with apricot or raspberry jam (yes, it's delicious!)
- turkey, pear and goat cheese
Ok, i'm out of ideas right now, but needless to say i've served sandwiches a lot.