And then what happened?
We're here. Everything is still sinking in. Adjusting to living here wasn't so hard, since we've visited before many times. The only difference is that it's permanent. Except it's not permanent in my mom's house, which again makes things temporary and the confusion continues. My mom's apartment is smallish but we fit in well. She has reorganized things so she has her own room, the kids have the big bedroom and Lincoln and I have the living room. It's a good set-up, but it also helps that it's summer and there are parks nearby and we can set the kids free on a regular basis as soon as they start bouncing off the walls.
Two days after arrival we set out to buy a computer desk, so we could unpack our computer and monitor, both of which made it in perfect condition in one of our 10 (!) suitcases. A miracle in itself. We picked out something nice and dark and classy from IKEA, so we could use it in our own place down the road. Somehow the purchase of a brand new piece of furniture marked the arrival for me, more so than getting a bank account and a new cell phone, which we did right after. Having a desk in a new country surly means one can't leave? It doesn't make sense, since we had just gotten rid of all our furniture days before...
Anyway the last 10 days in the States were packed with hard work and a ticking clock. I look back and still don't quite believe we did it. Everything worked out perfectly. My head and my adrenaline were in their top gear though, so much actually that I continued to "move" in my sleep after it was all done. Every night after we arrived for the first week or so I dreamed about moving, each time with a different - usually more tricky - scenario. One time I dreamed we had forgotten a whole extra floor in our house that was still full of furniture and things. Another time I dreamed that there was a flood and we had to wait for the water to drain before we could pack. Every single night. It was like a video game with every level throwing more obstacle at a higher pace at me. This is a clue of course to how stressed out I was. I was THAT stressed out.
It's bad enough to move, but moving everything so you can get on a plane and leave it all behind - with three kids - is a totally different story. Grandma came to help and I don't really know what we would've done without her driving the kids from playground to playground and pacifying them with movies at the hotel. We had had no other plan. Which was the case with everything else. What if hadn't worked out that way? I don't know.
This is what we did: We gave notice with our landlord, who found someone else to move in after us in about two weeks (we had a few showings only). Lincoln gave notice at his job. I gave notice everywhere else. We packed stuff up we wanted to leave with relatives in the US. They came and picked it up .Then we contacted movers for all the stuff we definitely wanted to keep (winter clothes, some books, some toys, some kitchen equipment and two appliances). (They picked the stuff up 5 days before the move. As of now it's still in New York but will sail to Rotterdam on 8/4. Movers will then drive it to our house. It should be here at the end of August.) We sold one car. Then we sold or gave away all our furniture and our household stuff, our TV, our chairs, our lamps and curtains, all of it. Luckily some friends were moving and some others were setting up new households and everything found a home. We moved into a hotel 5 nights before the day our flight was leaving. We went back to the apartment every day to clean it out. We had a "free" garage sale, where people from a local ReUseIt group came to pick it all up. We left the piano to the next renter, who was happy to have it. We cleaned the apartment and delivered a few boxes to Goodwill. We gave the van to our friends for the price of a ride to the airport. We got out of the car, said goodbye and got on a plane...
The trip to Vienna was horrendous unfortunately. We had booked a flight through Duesseldorf, because it was by thousands cheaper than a direct one. I hope I never have to make this decision again. The flight got delayed in New York because of bad weather, so we missed our connection flight. We had to wait for the next one, which was delayed too. The kids had slept a few hours but had to run around Duesseldorf with their carry-ons for over an hour. They even made us go through another a security check. Nikola had napped two hours on a plane and was awake and running the rest of the time. I don't know about this kid... who made him so crazy? He just kept on going. Once we landed in Vienna, he literally collapsed in my carrier and could not be woken up anymore, not when we put him in and out of the carseat, not when we put him into his crib or tried to rouse him so he would eat (He had avoided that very adamantly as well... Who does that at two? No food, no sleep for 10+ hours?). When we arrived we were welcomed by a big group of people, which was like jumping into the ocean after a long drought. We had worked hard for this moment. It was nice to finally see the results.
Besides setting up new lives in the last few weeks we've got the chance to quickly reacquaint ourselves with walking and riding the train. The town has a nice public pool, which we go to every day it's hot. We discovered some amazing playgrounds and just enjoyed the entirely different setting and change of pace. The kids also found out that maple syrup is not really easy to come by and mac & cheese is nonexistent. (Of course you can always call Grandma to send you some, which we promptly did.) A painful experience nevertheless that made Veronika conclude: America and Austria... it's like two different worlds!
It's true. It's exactly what it is and what we came for in a way. Austria is small, which has its disadvantages but on the other hand makes for a lot of, well, luxury. Playgrounds, trains, public facilities in general are well tended to, clean and not overrun.I'm sure it helps we currently don't live in a city, but it's been a truly positive discovery. There are still many moments in a day where I have to remember why I'm here and explain to myself that there is no home to go back to. Regardless of how long you plan a move like this, it's a shock to your system. I keep thinking of all the places in Danbury I'd go to several times a week, the time I spent sitting in the car, my kitchen... it's all gone. Veronika mentioned to me how she didn't have her room, how she saw it all empty. There was not sadness in her voice, but I think I know the feeling - it's almost too unreal to be able to feel sad about it. I told her what I do sometimes: I close my eyes and in my head it's all exactly how it was. I imagine what it was like and there none of it is empty or in disarray, everything still has its place...
One way or another things change and time passes and it never comes back again. When you stay in one place this is not as obvious or at least it takes many years for the past to become the past in your mind. For us it's different, since with the change of every location we also say goodbye to that time of our life. It is very visible and can't really slip by us. I didn't find it easy. I also found it very valuable. It keeps me "awake" and it helps me focus on the important things in life and literally let everything else go.
The kids seem to have had a good time so far. The moving part was stressful for everyone and it's harder when you're little and don't really understand a lot of it. I think seeing our place being dismantled was confusing. I hope we did a good job making them feel safe despite of it. Once we got here I can tell they have relaxed quite a bit. All the people we told them about they can now spend time with and I've been making an effort to have a somewhat regular schedule. The next hurdle will be school and preschool starting on 9/6. We're practicing German for half an hour every day and they have otherwise been very good about speaking it, especially Veronika.
The benefits for our family will unfold slowly. We need lots of patience, which I remind myself of daily as I tend to feel a need to plan ahead constantly and it's just not possible. Things have worked out just as planned so far, actually even better, it's not worry that drives me so much as curiosity. We have untethered everything in our life. Who throws away a perfectly nice set-up with a job, a home and three kids on top of it? We do apparently and I can't wait to see how it's all going to turn out.
Posted at 03:15 PM on July 30, 2010
Love this, Dinka! Thank you for sharing your experiences. Best of luck with your adjustments.
Wow. I really admire you. The courage to leave everything in your life in the US behind (even a piano! was it a second hand instrument?) and move back to Austria. Wow. I really cannot imagine us going back to Brazil.
I didn't comment in the previous posts, but I read them, stunned and pleasantly surprised for you guys. I'm thrilled to learn that everything is going so well!! I hope it all continues and that your curiosity is rewarded with wonderful little surprises every day!
miss you....
Love to read your story Dinka!!! Keep on writing and I will keep on reading :-)
Say Hi to everyone and Good Luck with everything.
Jessica
Welcome back to Austria, Dinka! I am impressed by all that. I am looking forward to seeing you some time!
Very good update - keep it coming. Good luck with the continued transition, too!!