Part 1 - Acknowledgement
I came to the realization recently that I do not have the capacity to understand or even contemplate the significance of everything that will be happening in the next week or so. This is not for lack of effort; I have made several futile attempts, but when I got close enough to truly sense the enormity of the circumstances, I was forced to retreat and self-medicate with my friend Glenfiddich, who tragically left me this past week (cough, cough). After some further thought, I decided that this was probably normal (the sense of being overwhelmed, not the scotch intake) and resigned myself to concentrating on the practical aspect of the whole matter, since struggling with the metaphysical isn't going to do anything but give me an ulcer and make me mentally unstable. As it turns out, this was a good decision because now I feel totally prepared and confident. I have months of Bradley training under my belt and I am ready to go.
The only problem is that the baby doesn't necessarily come when you're ready to go. It tends to keep its own schedule. The child hasn't even been born and we're already frustrated with its attempts to be indepedent. In the meantime, I'm nesting like I'm rewriting Souzek Republic with a CSS-only layout, and listening to A Love Supreme for guidance and inspiration. The day will come.
Waking thoughts
These have been my first thoughts of the day for the past week or so, listed in sequential order:
- Awake.
- There were no serious contractions during the night, the baby is not here yet.
- (look to right, Dinka's not there) Where's Dinka?
- (hear chattering of Croatian in the background) Ok, she's talking to her Mom.
- Relax for now (it is too early for complex or meaningful thoughts about the baby's arrival).
- (a few seconds pass) Hey, my fantasy baseball team's statistics are updated, I should go check them.
- Wow, it's sad how early it occurs to me to check my fantasy baseball status.
- At least my priorities are still in order.
- Back to sleep.
All Quiet on the Midwestern Front
Have you noticed how nice and quiet things have been around the Souzek Republic lately? Everything is peaceful and everyone is as composed as can be. There are no anxious parents-to-be waking up every morning wondering whether today will be the big day. There is no pregnant woman growing exhausted from the physical burden of carrying a rather sizable baby around all day, desperately seeking news of progress from the doctor on Wednesday. There is no nervous expectant father dreaming nightly about every possible permutation of labor. There is no grandmother-to-be with bags packed and a full tank of gas, sleeping by the phone, ready to make record time from central Wisconsin to northwest Indiana at a moment's notice. And there is definitely not a growing chorus of half-anonymous people, exclaiming in unison "So, NO BABY YET?!?"
Do you believe me?
Done
With plenty of time remaining before the baby is born, I have finished the cradle. As this was a lengthy project that required hard work and inspired a fair amount of pride in me, please understand that I feel compelled to post pictures, some of which may seem ridiculous, redundant, or contrived (see "Cradle Plays in Front of the Flowers" in the album), I am only trying to reveal its beauty by presenting it from many angles and in different light situations. Click on the picture below to view the album.
Ursuperer bauch
Dinka posted the latest pictures of her giant belly today, taken by me of course. Here's my favorite:
Morning Routine
Now that Dinka has stopped working, she has the unenviable task of rousing me from my morning slumber. This has become our normal exchange, after she tugs the blankets from my grasp:
L: NEIN.That last phrase, roughly translated, means "Get out there and make me some money." And every morning, I do.
D: Jaja.
L: (silence, hoping to fall back asleep)
D: GELD VERDIENEN.
July 10, 2003
Collectanea
With little organization or exposition, here's a heap of good stuff that has been accumulating in the back of my brain.
- "The Backyard Philosopher": Manual labor is good for traversing one's current web of thoughts and emotions. I have been doing a good amount of this lately [via Arts and Letters Daily].
- Mark it, Dude: An examination of the word "dude" and its changing role in culture and language. Includes a discussion of events and works that greatly affected its popularity, such as Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure and The Big Lebowski [via Arts and Letters Daily].
- 2nd Annual Lebowski Fest: See you July 18th.
- "Miller's Crossing": Dennis Miller circa 1988 lambasts his current self for his "running to the Republican teat," among other things [via textism].
- Life as calculus: More tender, intelligent writing from the stonefish. I like the metaphor.
- And finally, "Love Me": A new (and much-needed) short story from Garrison Keillor [via the morning news].