Change is Good
In my quest to find something introspective and wise to say about the past year on this, my 24th birthday, my thoughts kept returning to one thing: Veronika. I guess this shouldn't have surprised me since the last fourteen months have been devoted almost entirely to her, in one form or another, but it struck me as odd that in considering my own life, all I could think of was another. When Dinka and I were married, I didn't feel the same kind of change; it was more like she joined me in life, we became one and it was now our life. But with Veronika it's something entirely different because for as much as she depends on us and we are one as a family, she is still very much her own person. Maybe this is just my awe at witnessing a new life talking.
Friends and acquaintances have asked me if having a child has changed my life and I have always immediately answered "no." A few weeks ago, after having that conversation again, I asked myself why I would respond like this and realized that I was primarily saying no to where their questions were leading. When people say "Has having a baby changed your life?" they often mean "Is your life over now? Has it been a horrible adjustment?" I answered no because having a child was such a beautiful, natural and logical extension to my (our) life that I never felt the kind of shocking, debilitating change that the inquirer's tone betrays. I answered no because these questions seem to be probing for regret, doubt and weakness, as if people are looking to have their fears confirmed and decision (not to have children) affirmed in my response, and I have felt no such things. So to be truly honest, I would have to respond that yes, my life has changed, dramatically, completely and in wonderful, unimaginable ways. This is the kind of change that is beyond even the realm of dreams but when it comes and envelops you, it feels like you've never known anything else.
Perhaps instead of wasting so many words I could've just told you to start here.