Growing Pains
In the last month or so, Veronika has become increasingly interested in grabbing and playing with every object in sight, exploring the world around her. It has been a gradual transition but in all it is a drastic change from the first few months of her life, when we were everything to her and toys were only a temporary distraction. My initial reaction to this, like every other new stage she's entered, was one of amazement and pride. It is a wonderful and awe-inspiring thing to watch one's child grow and develop, with each new achievement seeming to happen in an instant despite all the anxious anticipation.
However last week I caught myself feeling a little disappointed when one night Veronika was no longer content to just sit and be with me, she needed to have something to do, something to grab and play with. As I tried to understand these feelings, I realized that this is probably how raising children will be--every step they take towards independence brings with it a little pride and heartbreak for the parents, with that amount increasing according to the size of the step. As long as the positive feelings continue to outweigh the negative (how could they not?), I think I will be able to live with that.
Last night I was trying to imagine Veronika on her first day of school, with a cool outfit, neatly combed hair, lunchbox and a nervous smile. Dinka added the one part of the picture that I had left out--the weeping father in the background. While there is a good chance that this may come true, no father will be prouder of his five-year-old on that day than me.