The Late Lincoln Souzek
Of all the problems that I inflict upon myself, the most infuriating is my inability to be on time for anything. I'm late for work, for church, for Veronika's swimming lessons. I go to bed a little too late and wake up late. I've missed planes, buses and more than my share of classes. I have no explanations or excuses. It's certainly not because I enjoy it. It is maddening to always be rushing everywhere, constantly looking at the clock, a few minutes too fast, with dismay. Add a toddler with very specific ideas about how things should be done and it's a recipe for disaster. Most of my unhappy times with Veronika (and a good share of my parental regrets) are a result of trying to get somewhere with her in a hurry and not having the patience for her special methods. I don't like what being in this state does to me. Then comes the arrival, everyone seated in place, activities already begun. I shuffle in, humbled, hurried and racked with guilt.
For as much as I dislike being late, you'd think that I would just start showing up on time. Maybe an analysis of this complex is best left to the psychologists. Do I think my time is more valuable than those I'm inconveniencing? Am I too obsessed with getting one last thing done? Am I just bad at managing my time and trying to compensate for inefficiencies? Whatever the case may be, I think it's time for this behavior to change. I may never spring out of bed the first time the alarm clock goes off but I can at least try to get it together and leave five minutes earlier. It bothers me enough that I have to at least try.
Although I'd like to blame many other things, I fear that I may be the biggest obstacle to peace and happiness in my life, when they elude me. It may seem inconsequential but I think if I can eliminate the small but constant tension of being perpetually late, it will be a good start to living better.
So, I've done a lot of thinking on the subject, and I realized last night while listening to some Wes Montgomery what the bottom line is. Your perpetual lateness is as easy as this (I have that problem, although I'm getting better): the best positive spin I always used to put on is that I enjoy squeezing the maximum out of whatever situation I am in at the moment, sometimes regardless of what activity is coming up that I should be leaving for. Bottom line is this: the whole "If it's truly important to you, you'd be on time" theory is for those who care not to think deeply and with concern about whatever they're doing at the moment, because they "need to leave now because I have an aerobics class and I don't want to be late". It's a trade-off. That person could blow off an aerobics class, let's say during a game of Hi-Ho Cherry-Oh to finish the game, or altogether to stay in and have family time. If they finish the game, they arrive late to the aerobics class (KB style). If they finish the game and think what else can be done to improve the game, the comfort of the family in general, or anything else of preceived importance, you occupy your thoughts, feelings and actions with those importances and either a) suddenly remember you have to be somewhere or b) knew about it, but understand that if something is missed, it's no problem to stay a few minutes extra at the end to catch up on what you missed. It's all in the way one prioritizes what is important. Just because someone is late, it doesn't mean at all the activity is unimportant to them. There are some people who feel that way, however, but those same people also probably make the people in their everyday life feel "not as important as the aerobics class". There is an understood clock, and an implied clock. Those people who feel being on time proves importance live by the understood clock. The Lincoln lives by the implied clock, which implies that the clock can stop sometimes in regard to important activities. If The Lincoln needs, for instance, to stop what he's doing to be somewhere at 2pm, and the implied clock stops because Veronika dominates your sense of importance for whatever reason, and you end up being a few minutes late. It's all about trade-offs. Now, if the activity you're late for is seriously inconvenient for other people, now we're in the wrong, but hey, sometimes it can't be helped. I have to get some work done, and I don't have time to proofread, but I hope this makes a little bit of sense.
Posted by The Chad at February 2, 2006 11:13 AM