Great Expectations
The degree to which my weekends are successful is based largely on two factors: 1) my willingness to accept the reality of my situation in the moment, and 2) how malleable I am when faced with these facts. In the past couple of weeks, I have learned the hard way that there are certain insurmountable obstacles that one should not challenge: mastitis, Mother Nature, the will of a toddler (in some situations!), the hunger of a baby, the impossibility of smoking baby back ribs with anything less than a smoker, etc. I have two choices when faced with such situations: forge ahead with a scary determination to accomplish my agenda (I will fly this kite!), only to inevitably fall apart upon failure; or, adapt, make the best of the situation and salvage what free time I have left with my family. The choice sounds simple, right? Well, it is much easier to recognize this when mourning a lousy weekend after the fact than in the heat of the moment. It's not a matter of lowering expectations but of recognizing the motivation for those expectations and being willing to get there another way.
Yesterday I was walking out to my car to go to work, in the rain, carrying my computer, my lunch, a bottle of water, a mug of orange juice, a cinnamon roll, a CD and my keys. You all can see the disaster coming, but I was too worried about getting things done and could not. I dropped the juice not once but twice, which rocketed me into my morning commute in a rage. Eventually I cooled down enough to realize how stupid it was to needlessly carry so much. It's the same with weekends and day-to-day life. Every once in a while (usually prompted by frustration, unfortunately) I need to stop and ask myself why I'm carrying so many things that will only make me unhappy. And things get dropped, like time with my family, and I take it out on them, like that stainless steel mug of orange juice that flew in a tremendous arc across the parking lot yesterday morning.
So this weekend I press reset once again, bring what's important close to me, drop everything else and see how far I can make it.